When Divorce Feels Like Emotional Whiplash

One day your spouse says they want a divorce.
The next day they want to work things out.
Then they say maybe you can just “stay friends.”

That feels like emotional whiplash and it’s painful. It keeps you hopeful and scared at the same time. You don’t know...

You’re calm, reasonable, and explaining your point clearly—so why does the argument keep getting worse? Why is it that the more you talk, the more you're talked out of your original point? The truth is, over-explaining doesn’t create understanding; it erases your power. Here’s how to stop doing it.

The first book I ever suggested to a client, and one I still recommend 20 years later, is The Four Agreements. One of the agreements is “Don’t take things personally.”

This is the one people struggle with most. When someone says or does something upsetting, it feels personal because it hurts us. To...

Long before I was a psychologist, I had a job as an administrator at a CPA firm. The two male partners who ran the firm were difficult and unreasonable in many ways. But, I had a job, the other people who worked there were good to work with, and the clients were diverse and amazing. [One client was ...

A reader recently sent in this question:

How do you say no to a partner that you realize has an avoidant attachment style? I feel that if I say no or contradict her that will lead to her pulling further away.

This is the core conundrum of people-pleasers and those with anxious attachment style: ho...

Dear Dr. Julie: I haven't spoken to my best friend in a couple of years because before she was married she slept with my boyfriend. I haven't spoken to either of them since I found out. I miss my best friend and I want to be friends with her again but I can't forgive her for what she did. How do I f...