A client of mine, Susie (not her real name) struggles with getting all the details in her life just right. Every time she misses deadlines, makes a typos, or loses something important, she feels ashamed and humiliated and asks questions like, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ and ‘Why am I so stupid?’ She ask...

I confess...I'm a self-help junkie. Not something most psychologists are into, surprisingly, but here I am. I read my first self-help book in grade school. I had a hard time understanding it (I was about 11 🤣), but I wanted to learn more about how to talk to people because I was so shy. I could see ...

Long before I was a psychologist, I had a job as an administrator at a CPA firm. The two male partners who ran the firm were difficult and unreasonable in many ways. But, I had a job, the other people who worked there were good to work with, and the clients were diverse and amazing. [One client was ...

“I apologized. Why isn't my apology enough?”

Have you ever asked yourself that question? My client Cassie (not her real name) asked me that question during a recent coaching session. She was confused and hurt. The day before, her partner made a simple comment about how she handled a situation with ...

We all love a good ending.

Not just in obvious stories, like books and movies, but in everywhere in life: in relationships, in arguments, and in the stories we tell ourselves. We want the dots connected, the characters explained, and the lose ends tied up. And, it's a bonus if the story ends in a w...

A reader recently sent in this question:

How do you say no to a partner that you realize has an avoidant attachment style? I feel that if I say no or contradict her that will lead to her pulling further away.

This is the core conundrum of people-pleasers and those with anxious attachment style: ho...