As a people-pleaser, you may constantly prioritize others' needs above your own, often at the expense of your well-being. This pattern can lead to resentment, burnout, and strained relationships.

However, a powerful concept can help you strike a balance: loving detachment.

What is Loving...

Many years ago I was at a self-development conference and the speaker said, “The quality of your life will depend on the amount of uncertainty you can tolerate.”

That quote stuck with me. I attended the conference in the early days of grad school and I often thought about how my...

Turn your overthinking into self-reflection and overcome your people-pleasing habit.

If you are a people-pleaser, one of the things you do is overthink. 

• You think about what others think of you a lot.
• You worry whether someone is upset with you a lot.
• You ruminate on how you could have...

Recently, the teenage daughter of a client of mine accused her mother of holding a grudge against her grandmother (my client’s mother). My client had a difficult relationship with her mother and had, over the course of her therapy with me, set up various rules she enforced frequently...

Dear Dr. Julie: My husband of 43 yrs has worked most of our marriage away from home: here for 2 weeks and gone for 2-3 months. I pretty much raised our 3 children alone. He retired in 2018 and has gone from being away from home most of the time to being home almost ALL the time. Has...

Dear Dr. Julie: My husband is throwing his anxiety on me. How do I change this? Thank you!!

--Anxious Annie

Dear Anxious Annie: This is one of my most frequent questions. People really struggle around how not to be so affected by other people's emotions.

When our partners, friends, or...