Dr. Julie's Blog

Dear Dr. Julie: My husband is throwing his anxiety on me. How do I change this? Thank you!!

--Anxious Annie

Dear Anxious Annie: This is one of my most frequent questions. People really struggle around how not to be so affected by other people's emotions.

When our partners, friends, or family members are struggling with anxiety, it can feel overwhelming, especially when their anxiety affects us negatively. Here are a few suggestions that may help you navigate this situation for everyone's benefit. (Remember you can't MAKE him do anything, but encouragement and understanding go along way.)

1. Heart to Heart Communication: Start by having a calm conversation with your husband about how his anxiety is making you feel and affecting you. Express your understanding of his situation and your concern for his welfare. Remember we all want to feel seen, heard, and understood and this is a great opportunity to practice letting him know that you understand how he feels. If you need...

Many of us have been taught from a young age that being kind and considerate towards others is a virtue. While this is undoubtedly true, some people take this to an extreme and become people pleasers.

A people pleaser is someone who prioritizes the needs and desires of others above their own, often at great personal expense. There are many reasons why someone might become a people pleaser, and in this blog post, we will explore some of the most common ones.

At the heart of the people-pleasing tendency lies a deep-seated human need: the desire for acceptance and belonging. We all want to be liked and valued by our peers, friends, and family. For people-pleasers, this need can be especially pronounced. Saying "yes" becomes a way to gain approval and establish stronger connections with others. It's as if their emotional well-being is intricately tied to the approval of those around them.

Here are some reasons why people become people pleasers:

People become pleasers for a variety of...