You’re calm, reasonable, and explaining your point clearly—so why does the argument keep getting worse? Why is it that the more you talk, the more you're talked out of your original point? The truth is, over-explaining doesn’t create understanding; it erases your power. Here’s how to stop doing it.

The first book I ever suggested to a client, and one I still recommend 20 years later, is The Four Agreements. One of the agreements is “Don’t take things personally.”

This is the one people struggle with most. When someone says or does something upsetting, it feels personal because it hurts us. To...

Dear Dr. Julie: I caught feelings for a guy. I’m in America, and he’s in Africa. He says there’s no rush for a relationship. At first, I thought we were dating, but him saying that is confusing.

Now I’m at a point where I feel kinda foolish, like he had a change of heart and I was never his type fr...

Dear Dr. Julie: Hi, I've been going through a hard time recently. My mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I'm feeling overwhelmed and depressed. To make things worse my best friend has completely abandoned me. I can't believe she did this and it's making things even harder because I don't k...

Dear Dr. Julie: Not sure if this is the right place for this question, but how do you help someone who doesn’t believe they need help? My adult daughter, who lives with me, has a mild intellectual disability, ADHD, and may have other genetic disorders we’re getting her tested for. I’ve done all I ca...

I received the following question from a community member:

Dear Dr. Julie, I feel inadequate most of the time. I graduated from high school in 1965. I've worked a variety of jobs, including 13 years with the federal government across three different agencies, and retired in 2002. I don’t talk a lot...