My Blog
Authentic Connections, Boundaries, and Relationships
There is a particular kind of tired that has nothing to do with sleep.
It’s the tiredness of someone who has been paying close attention to everyone in their life except themselves. If you’ve felt it, you know what I mean. If you’ve tried to explain it to someone, you know how hard it is to put int...
You decline a request at work and spend the next few minutes at your desk going over everything you said wondering if it landed okay. You cancel plans with a friend and immediately follow up with a long explanation why you’re cancelling. You share an opinion, watch how the other person reacts, and s...
Do you have moments when things get tense and suddenly you just go blank? Someone says something that hurts, or asks for something you don’t want to give, or starts a conversation that makes your chest tighten. You open your mouth and…nothing comes out. Or, you agree to something you don’t want to a...
 If you have ever walked away from a conversation and thought, Why didn't I just say what I meant? you are not alone. A lot of smart, self-aware people find themselves doing things in relationships that they can't quite explain. They go silent when they need to speak up. They over-explain a simple r...
Have you ever found yourself agreeing to do something, only to regret it moments later? Maybe it’s taking on an extra project at work, volunteering for an event, or even saying yes to plans when all you really wanted was a quiet evening at home. It’s easy to fall into the habit of saying "yes" too o...
Dear Dr. Julie: Hi, I've been going through a hard time recently. My mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I'm feeling overwhelmed and depressed. To make things worse my best friend has completely abandoned me. I can't believe she did this and it's making things even harder because I don't k...
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When you buy products or services through links on my site or in my emails, I may earn a small affiliate commission. However, I only recommend products that I would use for myself and those I care about.  All videos, articles, and statements made by me (Dr. Julie Shafer) and/or published by me anywhere online are for information and educational purposes only. Because everyone’s situation is different, please consult the appropriate professional before taking action based on information from this site or other publications by Dr. Julie Shafer. Reliance on information contained on my site, emails, or other platforms (e.g., FaceBook, YouTube, Medium, etc.) is solely at your own risk.