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Loved: Relationship Rules for Women Who Thought They Knew the Rules

Extraordinary relationships don’t break the rules, they embrace them. This book offers relationship advice while explaining how you can achieve your goals authentically and from the heart.

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What you'll learn...

How to navigate difficult conversations

What to change that will immediately improve your relationship

How to avoid repeating the same relationship mistakes

What boundaries are and how to set them--how be authentic AND have a great relationship

What makes it hard to be your best and what to do about it

What you need and how to get your needs met

and so much more…

Loved: Relationship Rules for Women Who Thought They Knew the Rules

Award-Winning Finalist in the Self-Help: Relationships category of the 2019 Best Book Awards sponsored by American Book Fest

Award-Winning Finalist of Best New Non-Fiction of the 2019 International Book Awards

Award-Winning Finalist in the Self-Help: Relationships category of the 2019 International Book Awards

Award-Winning Finalist in the Relationships category of the 2019 National Indie Excellence Award

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Rave Reviews

Patti

Julie has written a book that is easy to read and understand. It contains very clear, practical advice.
I am using it with my male partner, as a learning experience for both of us. Wonderful excercises in self understanding.
The part on emotional triggers, that lead us astray, was extremely helpful for both of us. This book is a quick remminder of things we thought we knew, things we had fogotten, and new strategies to embrase. A book for women, couples and men.

Erin 

Dr. Julie Shafer is a colleague of mine, and I have been on the receiving end of her skilled and perceptive advice many times. She is an experienced psychologist and coach who has gathered two decades of work and distilled it into a beautifully written guide for intelligent women who are struggling to find and keep meaningful love. I loved this book, and I am proud to recommend it to anyone looking for answers to one of life's most challenging puzzles.

More about my book...

Extraordinary relationships don’t break the rules, they embrace them.

There are thousands of relationship self-help books that offer countless magical techniques for how to get a man: what to say to a man, how to behave, what to do and not do to reach your relationship goals — but if you’ve tried to follow their instructions and failed, you’re not alone. These books offer relationship advice without explaining how you can achieve your goals authentically and from the heart.

In Loved: Relationship Rules for Women Who Thought They Knew the Rules, renowned psychologist and coach Julie Shafer presents a new approach based on seven key rules that get to the heart of what it means to be in an adult relationship. You’ll discover actionable insight on how to nurture strong, resilient love by being honest, responsible, and compassionate.

Find love and feel loved with these seven relationship rules:

  • Tell the truth sooner rather than later.
  • When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
  • Always assume the best in your partner.
  • Know your limitations.
  • Own your emotions.
  • The past plays a part, but the present is primary.
  • Be kind.

Whether you’re looking for love or want to improve your marriage, navigate difficult conversations, or connect on a deeper level, these rules apply at all the different stages of relationships—from very early on until forever comes to mind.

Shafer tackles all the hot spots that appear along the way. You’ll learn effective communication techniques and three steps for creating your own script. You’ll find your unique voice and learn how to use it. You’ll stop wondering whether your partner is right for you and instead discern what works and what needs to change.

Extraordinary relationships don’t break the rules, they embrace them. Loved: Relationship Rules for Women Who Thought They Knew the Rules is an invaluable guide through the seven essential rules that can guide you to a place of feeling loved.

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About Dr. Julie

Portland psychologist Julie Shafer wrote her book Loved: Relationship Rules for Women Who Thought They Knew the Rules after two decades working with women on their relationships and going through a few struggles of her own. Julie’s work and writing focuses on getting the connection with others you want and deserve, whether it is with an intimate partner, friend, or family member. She has a PhD in clinical psychology from Ohio State University and has helped hundreds of people improve their relationships and their lives through her down-to-earth, personal style.

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